Online dating still carry a stigma especially in a ‘conservative’ country like the Philippines. If you tell your friends or relatives that you’re dating a guy you’ve met online, I’m sure that at least 80% of them will raise an eyebrow. Most people see this modern type of dating as desperate, shallow, creepy, and dangerous.
I also used to dislike the idea of it… until my friends forced me to sign up on Tinder :-P At first it was entertaining for me, seeing funny narcissistic photos and learning about the often predictable conversational lines of men. And then, without me knowing the effects of those evil apps, swiping profiles became a habit for me (especially while pooping bwahahaha).
And while plenty of people have bad stereotypes on online dating, we should embrace the fact that these modern-day apps are now 1) widely used by millennials and 2) great tools to find whatever dates you’re looking for.
Just like any kind of dating (speed dating, dating someone you danced with in a bar, dating your admirer, etc.), online dating has its pros & cons and your Tita Jazz will let you know why you should and why you should not try it out:
1. Why you shouldn’t:
You’ll meet shallow people. The crazy worlds of Bumble, Tinder, OKC, etc. are full of creeps, fuckbois, stupid, and shallow people. Sometimes it will make you question the capacity of humanity and why men cannot carry decent conversations beyond “hi how are you” “you look sexy” “where do you live” “what do you do” “I'm staying in Sofitel. Wanna hang out?” Yes, the world can be a sad place.
Why you should:
You’ll meet incredible people. The incredible worlds of Bumble, Tinder, OKC, etc. can be secret hideaways of smart, witty, funny, sincere, and handsome people. Sometimes it will make you believe in humanity again and question where you’ve been hiding all these years, away from these incredible men. Believe it or not, I’ve met great friends, sweet dates, and travel buddies through Tinder— athletes, musicians, journalists, scientists, and other incredible human beings. And I would not have had the chance to meet them if my friends did not force me to try online dating ;-)
Dating can be tricky. It can be a tiring guessing game of "Does he/she like me?" and most importantly--- "Is he/she a jowa (long-term relationship) material?"
There's no sure formula but there are plenty of signs that can help you determine if your date is indeed jowa material:
1. You feel comfortable with him.
You're ok to smell each other's farts. You're not afraid to tell him your deepest darkest secrets. You can open up about almost anything. You're ok to go out with him even with your ugliest no-makeup-no-japorms-no-filter-state. You can share your shallow and stupid thoughts with each other. His presence does not intimidate you. You are your self even if he makes your heart flutter. You don't have to pretend that you're someone else or put your best foot forward just to please him
If you’re a millenial, you probably know what fuckboi/fuckboy/fuccboy means. And for the not-so-millenial, it only refers to man-whores or guys who want to hook up with almost everybody.
The definition may be straightforward; but the real challenge is to identify them. Distinguishing fuckbois from normal guys can be tricky, especially if they’re camouflaging from all those seemingly good traits (handsome, hot, smart, gentleman, funny, sweet) that you do not want to associate with a dirty name like fuckboi.
Years ago, one must have a good gaydar. Now, there’s a relentless need for a sharp “fuckboi radar.” A more dangerous dating world indeed! As your #TitaOfManila, I created a guide to help you know if you’re dating a fuckboi:
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