The Minus of ‘Singlehood’

I’ve already listed down some of the great things I learned from being single. But as much as I want to glorify the freedom, fun, and independence attached with this powerful status, I (*insert a long sigh*) need to admit that there are certain drawbacks for being a singleton.I might be under the influence of these unreliable chemical messengers called hormones. Even though it might hurt my ‘lone wolf ego’ a bit, here’s an honest look at the downside of being single, based from my very rich experience:

1. You will sometimes feel lonely, alone, and empty.
We might wear a brave face every day, but sometimes, being single can be depressing. Solitude often kicks in when you have a problem, sickness, or when you have this nightmare called reunions and bring-a-date events. Your ultimate version of horror is when you’re in a room full of couples and kids, and there’s only the corner welcoming you. Or when you have to go to an event and the invitation says your name plus a +1— Sometimes you just want to cross out that evil +1 or hire a handsome smart robot to pose as your date.

2. You will sometimes feel the need of… (cringe) intimacy.
Sometimes, whether we like it or not, life has its ways of making you feel in need of this overrated romance. Blame it on perfect dreamy settings like a white-sand beach on a starry night, sunsets on top of mountains, acoustic concerts, bonfires, rainy cold nights… or (sigh) a romantic film. You sometimes miss those intense kisses, comforting cuddles, sweet caresses, a warm hand to hold on to, a firm shoulder to lean on, or just the thought of being touchy-feely with a significant other.

3. You will always be judged, pressured, and looked down upon.
*See link  for examples of statements we will forever receive from blessed couples.
Because there will always be pre-set caricatures and stereotypes of single people, you are often judged just because you are the way you are.

4. You cannot relate to #adulting topics most of the time.
As time goes by, we realize that reunions are no longer as fun as they were. As your friends start to get married and have kids, you only get to see them once in a blue moon. And whenever you meet them, all they talk about are weddings, childbirth, or childrearing. It’s not their fault that they’ve moved on to the next chapter. You’re just stuck in this singleton phase, and you can’t do anything but pretend that you’re interested in wedding motifs and diaper talks.

5. There is agony in dating.
Sometimes dating sucks. That recurring getting-to-know you stage can be tiring. Rejecting can make you feel like an evil bitch and being rejected feels like numbing your self-esteem. As you get older, you’ll know better what you want— BUT the dating pool gets slimmer and slimmer; making it more statistically impossible to find your ‘the one.’

6. You do everything solo. 
Face it, lone wolf. There’s no one to help you. You have to do everything by yourself. Open the most complex bottle, carry the water gallon, parallel park in a narrow side street, change flat tires, drive to a faraway land, change light bulbs, clean your garbage, cure your hungover self, etc. You are forced to do everything for yourself.

7. It’s more expensive to be single. 
You pay more taxes. You have no dependents to benefit from your insurance. Buy 1 take 1 promos are not applicable for you. You pay for the whole price in hotels. You pay more in restaurants if you want to try different kinds of food. You are the sole source of income (and debts) in the household.

8. You need to explain WHY you are single all the time, even to strangers.
Everybody thinks that you owe them an explanation to a question that you do not have an answer to. Even strangers want to pry on your life.

9. Everyone thinks that you always have free time. 
Your relatives and friends think that, because you do not have any commitments, you’re committed to their responsibilities (ex. Babies and running errands).

10. Too much independence can turn you into a scary monster.
Being single for a long, long time might turn you into an emotionless un-needy brat. Too much socialization scares you and easily makes you miss your ‘me time.’ You evolve into an inflexible and stubborn human who will have a hard time comprehending the art of compromise.

11. There is no one to share your life with.
Independence is a double-edged sword. ‘Singlehood’ is liberating but you do not have a constant to share your happy, sad, angsty, silly, and mundane moments in life. The notion of having that special someone to grow old with is like a trance. Sometimes you wish to have a partner to love and complete you. But no, you’re going to grow old with your crazy self and there’s nobody else to validate your existence, except you.

Conclusion:
Yes, darling, just like everything in this life, ‘singlehood’ can be painful and lonely at times. But it’s normal. Flip the other side of the coin— being married or being in a relationship has drawbacks too. BECAUSE EVERYTHING IN LIFE WILL NEVER BE PERFECT. It’s up to you to look at the brighter side. It’s only you who can learn how to accept your status, learn from your experiences, improve yourself, thrive, and carry on with life. Focus on the plus, and just embrace the minus (because like hormonal swings, it will soon go away) 😉 ​